Tuesday, 6 February 2018

River got a tooth and I cried





For what feels like a lifetime (and for him, it almost is I guess) River has been teething. The gross streams of dribble smeared over my face whenever I kiss him have finally culminated in a tooth eruption. My heart was in no way ready for this.

I’ve realised that as a mum, you are constantly flitting between the joys of development milestones and the heartache of wanting your baby to stay this little forever. River is relatively early with this first tooth too which is even more of a kick in the tits because I love his gummy little mouth so much.
It wouldn’t be so bad except he’s now also rolling over and managing to hold onto things to stand himself up, so I’m anticipating him asking me to pay for his driving lessons any day now .

I hope I’ll find a balance when it comes to my attachment to River. At this point, I’m still very reluctant to hand him over to anyone to look after him because I feel like nobody can look after my baby like I can (and they can’t) so when he’s feeling shitty with his teeth, it makes me want to cuddle him all day every day and makes the thought of separation an absolute nightmare. I can imagine myself grasping onto him when he’s 15, telling him he’s still teething. LET MAMA LOOK AFTER YOU BABY.

As well as the excessive saliva, River has had some seriously grizzly days and nights that made me question if he even liked me anymore. When you’re so used to your baby sleeping through the night (brag) and then suddenly you’re being woken up three or four times in the night just so he can bite into your hands, scream at you and keep doing that weird thing where they make their legs stiff, it is TRYING. There’s only so much that Calpol and teething gel and gummee gloves can do - getting teeth hurts my baby and as a result, he’s taking it out on mum. Wouldn’t have it any other way though. I love the dribbly kisses. Not so much at 3 in the morning though. Save it for breakfast at least, Riv.


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